Tag Archives: random

“What Are You Doing Becky?! STOP!” – Thoughts of a Girl Who Continues to Make a Fool Out of Herself

Alright, I don’t know about you but I have a terrible addiction to embarrassing myself on camera/stage. I love to perform in shows and make videos. It’s one of my favorite things to do. What I don’t love is to watch the playback of these things. Yeah, I know that I’m contradicting myself, but let me try to explain.

When I am doing a show, I pour my whole being out on that stage and leave it there. I’m not thinking about recordings that are being made! As for the videos I make, I don’t have a good excuse. I realize I’m shooting myself in the foot here. In this case the fun of making the video outweighs the embarrassment. I also don’t mind watching myself in these videos because I already knew I was making a fool out of myself when I made them. However, I do get super embarrassed when other people watch them.

What brought this mini rant on? Well, back in November I was in a community Cabaret show. Basically it was a bunch of numbers all shoved into one super long show. It was crazy but super fun. The cast party for that November show was held this past weekend. I know, it’s 2 months after the fact, but the director wanted to host it after all of the holidays. Thoughtful right?

I went to say hello to everyone and to eat the food. It is tradition to watch the video recording of the show at these events. I was excited to see the other numbers I missed when I was not on stage. That being said, I was not looking forward to seeing myself make weird ass faces and doing ridiculous things. I might be too critical of myself, but I’m such a goddamn ham guys. Like seriously, when its time for me to be on stage or in front of the camera I just increase my hamminess factor by 100.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me sometimes.

I was in the most numbers out of everyone in the show. I had a solo, I was in all of the dance numbers and group numbers. Basically there were lots of moments to witness me making a fool out of myself. Watching myself in the dance numbers were by far the worst in terms of what-the-fuck-was-I-doing moments. Seriously, one number we did a lot of poses. I just couldn’t help myself with them and went crazy. There was voguing, lots of pointing, and of course crazy ass faces. I sat there like, “What are you doing Becky? You’re not cool! You think you’re being cool but you’re not! You’re being lame! JUST STOP! NO! WHY?!”

I think anytime I showed my face I was just like why?! Then I proceeded to cringe. I just cannot watch myself. I’d rather not see or know what people thought. It would make life easier. At least when I’m 60 I’ll have lots of material to make fun of myself. God help me.

P.S. On another note, someone I did not know at the cast party (it was open to friends and family of the cast) complemented me on my solo. Definitely made my day.

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Navigating My Writing Woes

Hello, my dear blog. It’s been an extremely long time. Fear not, for I am back with the intention of updating this more frequently. I have been busy with creative projects, traveling, work, and getting my shit together. While my shit is more together than it was, I have a long way to go. Anyway…ON WITH TODAY’S TOPIC WHICH IS WRITING!

One of the goals I set for myself quite frequently is to write more. Not only blog posts, but also work on my creative projects. I am the process of writing a book! Something I have been working on for the past 2 years which is so crazy! You’d think, “Wow Becky, you’ve spent two years working on this thing, you must be in the editing stages or almost finished.” You would be completely wrong…

Gosh this is so embarrassing to admit, but I have not even reached the halfway point yet! GAAHHH!  Part of the reason why I’m sucking at putting in the work is I am so god damn lazy. There’s also my TV addiction, writer’s block, and the fact that I’m working on other creative projects. I know, I know! I need to get a grip! Writing is hard though guys. I think my biggest problem is I don’t always know how to execute the many ideas I have, which is where the writers block comes in. Also, I’m just so fucking lazy.

With 2017 fast approaching, I’ve made a decision to just sit down and get to work. There are many things that I want to do creatively aside from finishing this goddamn book and I’m just going to do them. Here is a short list of my current creative project goals:

  1. FINISH THIS BOOK!
  2. Write more comedy sketches
  3. Come up with a stand-up routine (I want to be a comedian)
  4. Make a video
  5. Blog more, obviously!

Instead of waiting for 2017 to actually arrive, I will be starting today. One of the things I try to live by is “No day but today.” If there’s something in your life that you’ve been meaning to do, here is your push to just do it. There is no time like the present.

P.S. Sorry if this post sucks! It’s been a while and I need to get back into this whole blogging thing.

 

Lori the Most Inspirational Waitress To Have Ever Lived

Have you ever received some amazing advice from an unlikely person or stranger?   Last year this happened to me while I was getting brunch with my friends at a restaurant.  I was kind of in a state of uncertainty at the time.

You see, I had this massive crush on this guy.  He’s my mom’s friend’s son, we’ll call him Al.  Al is a year younger than me, smart, funny, and someone I weirdly get along well with.  The problem, we don’t live in the same country.  He is from Bermuda, went to University in England, and I don’t know where he’s at now (it’s not America though).  The last time I saw him was roughly 6 years ago when his family was visiting mine in America.  Last year we became friends on Facebook and reconnected because my good friend Will was going on a cruise to Bermuda and wanted to know the hot spots.  Apparently, Will had picked the best time to go.

It was cupmatch which is a big deal in Bermuda and basically like a giant party.  Al literally sent me paragraphs upon paragraphs of awesome stuff that was happening that week.  I was super jealous that I wasn’t going to be in Bermuda, so much so that I told Al.  His response, “You should come!”

Not going to lie I’m 90% sure I collapsed on the ground after getting this message.  I mean can you blame me?  Here is this guy I had a crush on, who at the time was recently single, basically inviting me to go party in Bermuda.  I didn’t know what to do with myself.

This happened at the end of June, so for most of July I basically went back and forth on what I should do.  At first, my friend Marley and I were going to see if it were possible to join Will’s cruise.  That fell through, the cruise was way expensive and overbooked.  Then something came up with Marley, so it would just be me traveling there.  I also wasn’t sure how serious Al was and if this was actually a terrible idea.  As I stated earlier, I haven’t seen him in five years and we only just began talking again.  He’s a family friend but not someone I am super close with.  I could show up there and it be incredibly awkward.  I was so torn on what to do.

Fast forward to one day  when Will, my friend Jimmy, and I decided to have brunch at this place in the city.  Of course we talked about my dilemma because it was all I talked about that summer.  They both told me that I obviously had to go, but I was not convinced.  I couldn’t strike that feeling of paranoia.  It got to a point where my friend Will was just like “Let’s ask the waitress!”

Our waitress, Lori, was super sweet and very friendly.  She was a cross between Taylor Swift and Kristen Bell.  After Will told her my problem she gave me some of the best advice I have ever received.  It was so amazing that I won’t be able to do it justice.  Basically, she told me that I had to go.  She said you have to go for it because regardless of what happens with him, it’s a trip to Bermuda!  The trip alone will be an amazing experience and experiences are something you have to go for.  There was obviously more and it was worded better.  I almost cried after she lectured me about how risks are always worth taking.  It was beautiful, plus I had 3 mimosas in me which made me feel even more emotional.

Her advice and that whole experience is something I will never forget.  A few weeks ago, almost a year later, we went back to the restaurant and she happened to be our waitress again.  She even remembered Will and I and asked if I ended up going to Bermuda.  You’re probably curious too after that build up, hell I would be.

Unfortunately, it’s kind of a let down because I didn’t end up going.  Logistically I was having trouble working it out and was a BIG FAT CHICKEN and didn’t ask Al for ideas/help.  Even after Lori’s amazing advice, I was too scared of the bad things that might have happened.  I almost regret it now, but I subscribe to the belief that things happen for a reason.  Overall, I think this has taught me that I need to take more risks and just go for things.  Not taking risks leaves you with a boring life.  So in a month I will be taking a traveling journey to California, Seattle, and South Korea because why the fuck not.

Readers, I urge you to start living your life and just go for things.  You don’t want to be like me and sort of regret not traveling to an exotic island to hang out with someone you haven’t seen in a while because you were scared.  Don’t pass up opportunities.

P.S. I really hope that guy doesn’t stumble upon this page or at least this post.  Talk about an awkward way of someone finding out you had a huge crush on them.

Bathroom Line Conversations

More often than not there is a line for the women’s bathroom.  There’s no avoiding it no matter how hard that you try.  I mostly mind my own business but sometimes you run into quite the characters waiting in that line or in the woman’s bathroom itself.

I bumped into one of these characters on my way to the bathroom yesterday.  It was a one stall bathroom and this old woman and I happened upon it at the same time.  She was very kind and asked if I had to go really bad.  I didn’t and told her to go ahead.  Side note, even if I had I probably would have still let her go first because I feel like it is an unwritten rule that you always gotta let the old lady go first.  So she goes and I wait.  When she gets out some time has passed but she felt that she took a long time so she apologizes to me.  The way she did it was so funny I had to share (though it is kind of tmi haha).  She says “I’m sorry, when you get older it dribbles out.”

I can’t even comment further, the statement speaks for itself.

P.S.  Old people are my favorite.  Literally you never know what’s going to come out of their mouth.  It’s why hanging out with my grandma is a ton of fun but also a little scary.