Tag Archives: family

My Cousin’s Not So Secret Girlfriend

Both sides of my family are big gossipers.  A staple rule is that if you’re not at the family event, we will talk about you.  I don’t know how accurate that is though because they definitely talk about you when you’re there.  However, when you’re not there you cannot control the conversation or shut it down.  This is why I try to be there so I can control the gossip.  My cousin Brian on the other hand, has not learned this.

Since Facebook has become so popular, as a twenty-something you deal with the fact that your semi-stalker family is on it and friends with you.  This does not bother me that much because I don’t post a lot on Facebook, this is what blogs and Twitter are for.  Brian on the other hand could use some work with his Facebook skills.

He started to get tagged in a lot of pictures with the same woman named Elizabeth.  Some of them were more risque than others.  Since he was tagged in them, everyone in the family could see.  Once they saw they couldn’t help but gossip.  My uncle Toto and my cousin’s wife Jess were the worst by far.  My Aunt Laurie, who is married to Toto, referred to them as giggling school girls which is an accurate depiction.  Everyone thought they were dating and was so curious.  So my family did what they do best and went right to the source.

Poor Brian, I feel for the kid.  He got drilled so hard about this women Elizabeth and denied any sort of relationship with her.  It settled the family down at the time.  The issue was put to rest until the amount of pictures he had with this Elizabeth just continued to pile up.  Everyone was still suspicious.

I gave Brian the benefit of the doubt.  While I suspected they were sleeping together, I took his word that they weren’t dating.

A little more than a year later, I go on Facebook like any person my age to check my notifications.  Lo and behold right at the top of my newsfeed is a post from Elizabeth, that Brian was tagged in, devoted to their one year anniversary.  To say my family went cray would an understatement.  There was even an email thread about it.  You can’t keep things from family, no matter how hard you try.  Poor Brian learned that the hard way.

To everyone out there, your family is definitely Facebook stalking you.  So either be careful what you post or get ready for the questions.

P.S. My dad, who is not on Facebook, hilariously found out weeks later in a passing conversation and was pissed that no one ever told him.  Brian still had one person fooled even after the bomb dropped.