Tag Archives: awkward

My Boyfriend Awkwardly Meets My Family (Without Me)

Two weeks ago was Easter. A holiday that has become less and less about the candy, and more of a time when I get together with my dad’s side of the family (mom’s side is Jewish). It was also the first time my boyfriend, Nolan, met my dad’s side of my family.

Nolan had already met my mom’s side at a Pre-Thanksgiving party my aunt threw back in November. I’m honestly a little surprised he didn’t leave me immediately after. My mom’s side of the family is definitely a little crazier than my dad’s. They made him play a drinking game where he ended up having to pick his nose and dance for them. Seriously, I’m surprised he’s still here after they scarred him for life.

Needless to say, my dad’s side was a little upset that I didn’t bring him to their Thanksgiving dinner. To be fair, I was still trying to figure everything out with him. My Aunt’s party was more of a casual thing and not as serious as Thanksgiving dinner with my dad’s side of the family. We’re still together now, he didn’t have any plans, and so Easter was the day they were going to meet him.

Nolan does not live close to me. He actually lives closer to my Aunt Mary and Uncle Ron, who were hosting Easter. That being said he also does not drive. Originally, he was going to come home with me after I went out with my friends Saturday night. That way we could all go together Sunday morning. Then he got sick, so that didn’t happen. After that he had considered taking public transportation and we’d pick him up from the bus stop. However, that turned out to be too complicated and so he decided he was just gonna Uber it. I was happy he wouldn’t get lost on the way there and that everything worked out.

Sunday morning, I wake up and realize that there is a small chance that he will somehow show up before my immediate family and I do. My family is notorious for being late. When I was younger, I used to refer to us as the Laters because we were usually among the last to arrive to any party. I don’t think it’s a particular person’s fault, I think it’s the combination of me, my mom, my dad, and my sister. I tell my mom about my fear and she assures me that we’ll leave a little early so we get to my Aunt’s house on time.

Surprisingly, we do leave on time. I obviously didn’t tell Nolan about my sudden realization because I did not want to freak him out. It was a small chance and things were looking up, especially since it seemed like we were all going to get there at the same time. It soon became a race on who would get there first. However, I think I acted too cocky and underestimated the true power of the Laters because the next thing I knew, my dad had missed the turn. It delayed us by 20 minutes. Of course.

Nolan was the winner and turned out to be the first person to arrive at my Aunt Mary’s house. To make matters worse, in the 20 minutes we were delayed, the rest of my family decided to show up. So by the time my immediate family and I arrived, everyone else had already introduced themselves to him and possibly grilled him. I don’t know, I was stuck in a car with my parents for those 20 minutes. The Laters strike again.

My poor boyfriend. I don’t know if this experience was better or worse than the nose picking incident. I’d like to think better? Though I did end up sharing the nose picking story with my dad’s side. One thing’s for sure, Nola’s definitely a keeper.

P.S. It was pretty smooth sailing after the beginning of the dinner party. Though it was awkward trying to figure out what exactly was talked about in those 20 minutes before I had arrived. At one point Nolan had to tell me that my uncle and him had already had conversation I tried to start. #mybad

Getting Into Trouble on Snapchat

Snapchat, oh snapchat.  Boy do you have embarrassing dirt on me.

Most of the time, I admit, I’m asking for it seeing as how I only really use the app when I’m drunk.  There’s just something about taking terrible selfies and videos that is so much fun when I’m plastered.  I have a great time and my friends get a kick out of it too (not to mention blackmail…).  Yesterday however, I was not prepared for what snapchat had dealt me.

Okay so like most single people in today’s world, I am on Tinder.  Let’s be real there’s something about matching with people that is fun and a huge confident boost.  I personally don’t take it too seriously.  That being said, I don’t troll around as much as others do.  Anyway, I started talking to this cute dude yesterday and we were being real flirty.  Like REAL flirty and escalated quickly. Not even kidding one second we’re talking about music and the next he’s saying he’s horny.

Usually at this point I’d roll my eyes and unmatch him or something, but it was jokey enough that I just went with it. I don’t know what had gotten into me.  I’m really not a sexual person.  Making out with someone is fun, but I’m not very experienced beyond that.  That being said everyone has days where they’re just hot and bothered and yesterday was one for me.

Thankfully I put a stop to this before things went too far.  I was meeting with my friends soon and I didn’t want this to go on while I was with them.  Talk about awkward.  I flat out said that our convo couldn’t get any more heated, not that it really was that heated, but you get me. Instead of being like see you later he some how convinces me that we should snapchat.

Again, usually I’d back out of this but for some reason  I said yes.  I’m not sure how much of it was his charm or how much I was out of it.  He assured me that he wasn’t just gonna straight up send me a dick pic because I was not about to get sexy on snapchat.  That is just not me.  He just liked using it more or something.  So he adds me and I say goodbye because I’m hanging out with my friends.

Later, I see that I have three snapchats from him.  I opened them with one of my best friend’s Mo because I was still kind of afraid of what they were going to be.  The first one was of him making a cute face.  Not gonna lie, I let out a huge sigh of relief.  The second was just like the first.  The third however, I just couldn’t believe.

No it wasn’t his dick, thank god.  But he took a mirror shot of of himself with him dragging the neck of his shirt down, trying (and sort of failing) to look sexy.  The caption was “Horny yet? ;)”  Not even kidding, I fell to the floor pissing my pants.  In hindsight, I should have been expecting this but it still surprised me.  I think what really made me die was the fact that he tried to look sex y and failed. I wish I saved the picture so you all could see but you’ll have to use your imaginations.  It was that good.  I almost wish he had sent another like it, it was too funny.

P.S. Have to say though he was definitely more attractive in his cute snapchats than his Tinder profile pics.  Go figure.

The Art of Faceplanting

Faceplant (plural faceplants)
1. (informal) The act of landing face first, as a result of an accident or error.

 Faceplants are not your every day occurrence.  Even when you’re as clumsy as I can be, they only happen every so often and thank god for that.  Unless you’re able to catch yourself really quickly or have cat like reflexes,  falling on your face hurts!  There’s no cushion like when you fall on your ass and it’s hard to pretend like it didn’t happen, especially when you’re leading the pack coming out of the subway.

Recently, I went out with my friend to the Lower East Side.  It was a good time though I was a little bit of a hot mess on our journey home, especially in regards to the subway.  So I follow my friend down but I sort of lose him on the stairs.  I wore heels that night because I wanted to dress up a little bit.  Surprisingly I have mastered walking in heels on a flat surface, stairs not so much.  Eventually I get down there and see my friend waiting for me.  I touch his shoulder, he turns and I realize that the person who my hand is on is not my friend but an attractive guy.  Talk about awkward.  Thankfully my friend pulled me in the opposite direction soon after because we had gone down the wrong side.  See what I mean about hot mess.

The most embarrassing moment however was exiting the subway I missed a step, and where you guessed it, I faceplanted.  Thankfully it wasn’t a hard fall, but still super embarrassing.  There were people behind us who had also made the same mistake.  Not gonna lie I was afraid I was going to get trampled or something.  The worst part was that I almost fell again because in the heels made it hard to get back up.  I guess the lesson learned here is always watch your step when coming out of the subway.

P.S. That guy was so cute, I almost wish I had talked to him even with the potential of embarrassing myself more.