Have you ever met someone that reminds you of someone else that you know? Usually this happens to me when I watch a TV show, film, or read a book. It rarely happens in real life. When it does it’s less like “They are the same person!” and more like, “They would be really good friends!” Yesterday, I met someone that had the exact same mannerisms as my old crush. It was super weird!
So you’re probably wondering, who is this crush? In my Junior and Senior year of college I was practically in love with this saxophone player I was friends with. We’ll call him Matt. Funny enough, he was the second Matt I liked in college so all of my friends referred to him as Matt 2. He was a smart, chill guy who had a good sense of humor and was incredibly nice. He also was an extremely talented musician. We were both in marching band together and shared similar circles. Junior year we lived in the same building and started hanging out a lot together. Which jump started the crush.
While it was fairly obvious that I had a massive crush on him, I never fessed up to it. The whole situation was a little complicated. He had been in a relationship with one of my good friends. I became very good friends with him and was scared to lose that friendship. I was also good friends with his twin sister, and was afraid that if something went wrong with Matt it would complicate that friendship. Also, I was the biggest chicken in the world.
It’s all good though. I have no regrets, because it probably wouldn’t have worked out anyway. Besides, he was a little boring and didn’t like to go out. I like to have fun and want a guy who will go out and do stuff with me. We’re still friends too, so it’s all good.
Fast forward to last night. I was hanging out with a few people from my improv class. Our teacher wants us to all hang out and do stuff together so that we’re less awkward when we’re doing scenes together. Good improv comes from people who are comfortable and know each other.
As soon as I start getting to know one kid, Gavin, I immediately thought of Matt. They both had the same exact mannerisms, and talked in a similar way. Plus they both have the same face shape, curlyish hair, and are in a similar field. I swear, if Gavin had said that he used to play the saxophone I would have been done! Just done!
I think part of the reason that this weirds me out so much is that things between Matt and I are still weird. Every time I see him, we end up hanging out one on one and it sort of feels like a date. For example, the last time we hung out we went to this cozy win bar to watch some live music. Had I been with my boyfriend or a prospect, it would have been a date (a pretty good one at that). Maybe a part of me is still not over him, or likes to entertain the idea of what if. Crushes are more complicated than they seem, or I just think to much.
Thankfully, Gavin and Matt are not exactly the same person. Gavin seems way more fun than Matt. I’m sure as I get to know my classmate more, the comparison between them will lessen. Unless it turns out that he did in fact play the saxophone. I’ll have to introduce the two of them at that point.
P.S. Ironically enough, my improv teacher reminds me of a different crush of mine. This took me longer to realize, but it explains so much. Like why I’m weirdly attracted to him.