My Boyfriend Awkwardly Meets My Family (Without Me)

Two weeks ago was Easter. A holiday that has become less and less about the candy, and more of a time when I get together with my dad’s side of the family (mom’s side is Jewish). It was also the first time my boyfriend, Nolan, met my dad’s side of my family.

Nolan had already met my mom’s side at a Pre-Thanksgiving party my aunt threw back in November. I’m honestly a little surprised he didn’t leave me immediately after. My mom’s side of the family is definitely a little crazier than my dad’s. They made him play a drinking game where he ended up having to pick his nose and dance for them. Seriously, I’m surprised he’s still here after they scarred him for life.

Needless to say, my dad’s side was a little upset that I didn’t bring him to their Thanksgiving dinner. To be fair, I was still trying to figure everything out with him. My Aunt’s party was more of a casual thing and not as serious as Thanksgiving dinner with my dad’s side of the family. We’re still together now, he didn’t have any plans, and so Easter was the day they were going to meet him.

Nolan does not live close to me. He actually lives closer to my Aunt Mary and Uncle Ron, who were hosting Easter. That being said he also does not drive. Originally, he was going to come home with me after I went out with my friends Saturday night. That way we could all go together Sunday morning. Then he got sick, so that didn’t happen. After that he had considered taking public transportation and we’d pick him up from the bus stop. However, that turned out to be too complicated and so he decided he was just gonna Uber it. I was happy he wouldn’t get lost on the way there and that everything worked out.

Sunday morning, I wake up and realize that there is a small chance that he will somehow show up before my immediate family and I do. My family is notorious for being late. When I was younger, I used to refer to us as the Laters because we were usually among the last to arrive to any party. I don’t think it’s a particular person’s fault, I think it’s the combination of me, my mom, my dad, and my sister. I tell my mom about my fear and she assures me that we’ll leave a little early so we get to my Aunt’s house on time.

Surprisingly, we do leave on time. I obviously didn’t tell Nolan about my sudden realization because I did not want to freak him out. It was a small chance and things were looking up, especially since it seemed like we were all going to get there at the same time. It soon became a race on who would get there first. However, I think I acted too cocky and underestimated the true power of the Laters because the next thing I knew, my dad had missed the turn. It delayed us by 20 minutes. Of course.

Nolan was the winner and turned out to be the first person to arrive at my Aunt Mary’s house. To make matters worse, in the 20 minutes we were delayed, the rest of my family decided to show up. So by the time my immediate family and I arrived, everyone else had already introduced themselves to him and possibly grilled him. I don’t know, I was stuck in a car with my parents for those 20 minutes. The Laters strike again.

My poor boyfriend. I don’t know if this experience was better or worse than the nose picking incident. I’d like to think better? Though I did end up sharing the nose picking story with my dad’s side. One thing’s for sure, Nola’s definitely a keeper.

P.S. It was pretty smooth sailing after the beginning of the dinner party. Though it was awkward trying to figure out what exactly was talked about in those 20 minutes before I had arrived. At one point Nolan had to tell me that my uncle and him had already had conversation I tried to start. #mybad

Quick Random Story: Finding A Sock in My Dress

Introducing a new type of post on this blog. A quick random story is exactly what it sounds like. A quick/short story about a random thing that happened to me. Today’s revolves around a weird wardrobe thin

Yesterday afternoon, I was sitting at my desk a little bored. My workflow is very up and down sometimes. I noticed that my bra strap had fallen down inside my shirt. It was bothering me, so I reach into my shirt to address it only to find a sock shoved in there.

Yes, you heard me right. I found a sock in the shirt I was wearing. It was wedged between my shoulder and the fabric of my shirt. I had recently done laundry so I guess the sock got stuck there? I don’t even know. I think the sadder part was the fact I went like 7 hours without noticing it. You’d think I might have noticed the lump near my shoulder when I looked in the mirror to assess my outfit and later when I washed my hands. Or at least felt it wedged up against my shoulder, but no.

I’m still in disbelief that this happened in my “real life” and not some weird magic show. On the bright side, it was a sock that I thought I had lost. So at least there’s that.

P.S. It was a Minion (like from Despicable Me) sock.

Blast From the Past Weekend

Last Friday was St. Patrick’s Day, which most people use an excuse to party hard all weekend long. I certainly took advantage of this. Plus I’m Irish, so it’s almost like a crime. I expected to go out and have a fun time, that certainly happened. What I was not expecting was to run into someone from my past.

I’m just going to say it, I was a weird kid in high school. Definitely wasn’t popular. If you had to label me I would be a theatre/band nerd. My friends and I thought it was cool to hang around school taking pictures and obsessing over boys. We had nicknames for the boys we were obsessed with and everything. I look back on that time in my life and just question all the stupid shit I did. Personally, I’d like to think I became cooler in college and upgraded from just plain old loser to cool loser. I have fond memories from high school, but I don’t want to relive them with anyone who I wasn’t friends with at the time.

Fast forward to Friday night, I had just finished having a corn beef and cabbage dinner with my grandparents, parents, and sort of boyfriend. We’re Irish and that’s what you do. I call up my friend Will to see what he’s up to and he’s at this bar near my house that he frequents. My sort of boyfriend and I are a little tired, so this sounds like a good plan for us and decided to meet up with him.

For the most part I tend to avoid the bars in my town like a plague. They’re mostly crowded with old people or lame.The only one I will go to is the place my friend Will frequents because his family is famous there and it’s a nice place.

I walk in to find a slightly tipsy Will who escorts us to the bar where these group of people my age are. One turns to look at me and is like “Becky!” I am shocked as this kid, John, who I went to high school with recognizes me. This is not an old high school friend, this is someone who I went through school with from elementary to high school. He was definitely more a part of the popular crowd and I don’t think we’ve ever really talked that much. I’m pretty sure he was in one of my elementary school classes, but other than that we haven’t had much interaction. It was very shocking to me. I say again, I was a weird nobody!

I know what you’re going to say. You recognized him, why shouldn’t he recognize you? Well, I have always had a very strong memory and am really good with names/faces. If I’ve met you, the next time we I most likely remember your name and who you are. I’m aware that not many people have this ability, so not to look weird I sometimes pretend to not know if you have no idea who I am.

Back to the main subject, it’s still surprising  to me and I can’t help but wonder what he thought. I don’t think I’m very different from the girl I was in high school. Really, I’ve just upgraded. Unfortunately he never was like “You’ve come out of your shell,” or anything like that. So I’m left wondering.

Ironically, he was like, “Do you remember me?” I assured him I did, I have an excellent memory. I would most likely recognize many of the people I went to high school with. Especially the ones that went to my elementary school. He seemed just as surprised that I remembered him as I was that he remembered me. Maybe the fact is that you just remember the people you spent year after year going to school with.

Then again, in this same weekend I bumped into another person I went to high school with. Different night, and far away from my town. I only went to middle school and high school with him, but I definitely had WAY more interactions with him than John. This other kid signed my year book and we talked to each other. I stopped him in the bar to say hi, and he remembered my name but was definitely not as quick with my name as John.

The whole experience was just so strange. It’ll be interesting to see what happens when there’s actually some sort of high school reunion announced.

P.S. This other kid from my high school was also at the bar Friday night. Had no idea who he was, but he didn’t know who I was so it’s all good. So I guess my memory is not as perfect as I think it is.


Random Thoughts: Do People Listen to My Phone Conversations?

Ever since I got a pair of headphones with a mic I have been using them to talk on my cellphone. It’s especially helpful in the winter because my hands can stay warm in my coat pocket. However, I can’t help but feel like it makes me look like I’m talking to myself. At least when you hold your phone to your ear or have a Bluetooth piece in people usually make the assumption. I don’t think headphones paint that same image. I sometimes wonder what people think of me and if they listen to my conversations. If I were them, I probably would. This especially popped into my head yesterday when I was on the phone with my best friend Marley.

Marley is my best friend from college. Currently, she is teaching English in Korea and there is a 14 hour time difference between us. That doesn’t stop us from being able to talk. Thank god for the internet. Anyway we have started chatting in the morning before I go to work because our schedules work out. This has lead me to wandering the city, near my office, chatting on the phone with her with my handy dandy headphones.

Yesterday she was chilling at a cafe and it was super loud where she was. Since I’m plugged in, I naturally begin to talk (shout) so that she can hear me. She was also using headphones when talking to me so she could hear me just fine and I really didn’t need to shout. That didn’t stop me though. In my defense the people she was near were also shouting. It was like I had to be louder than them. Then add on the fact that we were also talking about something I was angry and passionate about. I must have shouted through our whole conversation.

When I eventually made my way to my office and my desk, the image of me wandering around the streets of New York shouting just struck me as funny. I swear I must have looked batshit crazy because I’m just shouting things like, “SHE’S AN IDIOT! THIS IS A HORRIBLE IDEA, I CAN’T EVEN! HE’S AN ASSHOLE!” I can’t help but wonder what the people I walked past must have thought of and how out of the ordinary I actually looked. I do live in New York, we are the capital of crazy people. Maybe I’m just an everyday person really or maybe I did actually look batshit. Jokes on them though, because I definitely am a little crazy.

No regrets though. So if you pass someone who is loudly on the phone early in the morning in New York, it might be me.

P.S. I think even without the background noise, I’m super loud on the phone. Not my fault that I naturally am just a loud person. Makes life more interesting.

Awkwardly Ignoring 12 Year Olds

I love going to concerts. There’s something about hearing your favorite songs performed live that is unlike anything else. I just saw DNCE in concert this week and oh my dear Jesus it was awesome. I was a huge Jonas Brothers fan when I was a teenager. So regular music loving me was excited to hear DNCE perform their songs (because I think they’re awesome), but my inner 16 year old self was freaking out at how close Joe Jonas was to me. It was a small venue with general admission so I was pretty close to the stage. So close that Joe/the rest of DNCE probably saw my crazy, awkward dancing. That’s one of the reasons I love GA shows because you can get close and it’s fun dancing in the crowd. The only drawback are pushy people.

If you’ve been to a GA concert you probably have come across the people who ask to get by you because they have a “friend” up ahead. You probably aren’t a big fan of them, like most people. I always wonder how many times they actually have a friend up ahead. I feel like half the time there is no friend and they are just working their way up. Personally, I never know what to do when this happens to me.

On the one hand, I’m a nice person and sort of feel rude just saying no to these people. If it’s just one person, then the likelihood they are actually meeting someone is high. I feel bad and awkward, so usually I just let people by. What can I say, I’m a sucker! However, at the same time if you wanted to be with your friends you should have gotten there earlier. I’ve been standing here for a long time and I don’t want to give up my spot to you people.

Of course this happened at the DNCE concert, because it happens at every GA concert I’ve ever been to. However, nobody got on my nerves more than these 12 year old girls who showed up and expected me to part ways. This makes me sound so mean because they’re 12 and I’m bigger than them. Hear me out though. First of all, there was like 4 of them wanting to get in front of me and my friend. It was packed where we were standing because we were pretty close. There was no where for them to go really! Second, their friend wasn’t making a big deal about them not being close. Third, they had clearly just gotten there. It would have been one thing if they had walked away, but no. I’ve been standing here for at least 2 hours. Fourth, they were annoying. Fifth, they didn’t even know which Jonas Brother was in the band. GAHHHH!

Awkward me held my ground for a while. Then they tried to shove past us only to be completely blocked by the people right in front of us. Thankfully, they had the great idea to go around us which was fine by me. They never came back so my friend and I enjoyed the concert 12 year old free. But still I felt horrible and annoyed at the same time. I can never win in these kinds of scenarios.

P.S. My favorite Jonas Brother is actually Nick, even though I think I like DNCE’s music more. It’s a toss up.

It Sucks to Be Me (Woes of a Sick Person)

You know that saying, you never realize what you have until it’s gone? I feel like whenever I am sick, this saying always comes back to me. It’s the small things that being sick deprives you from that really get to me. Thankfully, I have a pretty solid immune system. Unfortunately when I am sick, it means that I’ve caught something pretty bad and I instantly miss not being sick.

For example, about two months ago I caught a bad case of the stomach virus. Couldn’t keep anything down for a solid two days. In that moment, all I wanted to do was eat like a normal person without having to worry about the consequences. It was rough, but not as rough as what I have now.

This time I’ve been blessed with tonsillitis AND the flu. A double whammy. The universe must really love me or something. It is AWFUL. I’ll spare you the gross details, but this is the worst I have felt in a really long time. I think the most horrible thing about having both of these illnesses is that together I cannot eat anything. It hurts to swallow everything, even liquids. I thought not eating with the stomach flu was bad, but this is some next level shit right here. All I want most in the world right now is to eat solid food. Well that and a million dollars. I am currently forcing fluids and soup down my throat so that I can nip this cold in the butt ASAP. I have a few important events happening soon and I cannot be brought down by this cold!

That was my rant for the day. Please all of you have a delicious meal for me and enjoy your healthy lives.

P.S. The ONLY bright side is not going to work. So thank god for that!


“What Are You Doing Becky?! STOP!” – Thoughts of a Girl Who Continues to Make a Fool Out of Herself

Alright, I don’t know about you but I have a terrible addiction to embarrassing myself on camera/stage. I love to perform in shows and make videos. It’s one of my favorite things to do. What I don’t love is to watch the playback of these things. Yeah, I know that I’m contradicting myself, but let me try to explain.

When I am doing a show, I pour my whole being out on that stage and leave it there. I’m not thinking about recordings that are being made! As for the videos I make, I don’t have a good excuse. I realize I’m shooting myself in the foot here. In this case the fun of making the video outweighs the embarrassment. I also don’t mind watching myself in these videos because I already knew I was making a fool out of myself when I made them. However, I do get super embarrassed when other people watch them.

What brought this mini rant on? Well, back in November I was in a community Cabaret show. Basically it was a bunch of numbers all shoved into one super long show. It was crazy but super fun. The cast party for that November show was held this past weekend. I know, it’s 2 months after the fact, but the director wanted to host it after all of the holidays. Thoughtful right?

I went to say hello to everyone and to eat the food. It is tradition to watch the video recording of the show at these events. I was excited to see the other numbers I missed when I was not on stage. That being said, I was not looking forward to seeing myself make weird ass faces and doing ridiculous things. I might be too critical of myself, but I’m such a goddamn ham guys. Like seriously, when its time for me to be on stage or in front of the camera I just increase my hamminess factor by 100.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me sometimes.

I was in the most numbers out of everyone in the show. I had a solo, I was in all of the dance numbers and group numbers. Basically there were lots of moments to witness me making a fool out of myself. Watching myself in the dance numbers were by far the worst in terms of what-the-fuck-was-I-doing moments. Seriously, one number we did a lot of poses. I just couldn’t help myself with them and went crazy. There was voguing, lots of pointing, and of course crazy ass faces. I sat there like, “What are you doing Becky? You’re not cool! You think you’re being cool but you’re not! You’re being lame! JUST STOP! NO! WHY?!”

I think anytime I showed my face I was just like why?! Then I proceeded to cringe. I just cannot watch myself. I’d rather not see or know what people thought. It would make life easier. At least when I’m 60 I’ll have lots of material to make fun of myself. God help me.

P.S. On another note, someone I did not know at the cast party (it was open to friends and family of the cast) complemented me on my solo. Definitely made my day.

Navigating My Writing Woes

Hello, my dear blog. It’s been an extremely long time. Fear not, for I am back with the intention of updating this more frequently. I have been busy with creative projects, traveling, work, and getting my shit together. While my shit is more together than it was, I have a long way to go. Anyway…ON WITH TODAY’S TOPIC WHICH IS WRITING!

One of the goals I set for myself quite frequently is to write more. Not only blog posts, but also work on my creative projects. I am the process of writing a book! Something I have been working on for the past 2 years which is so crazy! You’d think, “Wow Becky, you’ve spent two years working on this thing, you must be in the editing stages or almost finished.” You would be completely wrong…

Gosh this is so embarrassing to admit, but I have not even reached the halfway point yet! GAAHHH!  Part of the reason why I’m sucking at putting in the work is I am so god damn lazy. There’s also my TV addiction, writer’s block, and the fact that I’m working on other creative projects. I know, I know! I need to get a grip! Writing is hard though guys. I think my biggest problem is I don’t always know how to execute the many ideas I have, which is where the writers block comes in. Also, I’m just so fucking lazy.

With 2017 fast approaching, I’ve made a decision to just sit down and get to work. There are many things that I want to do creatively aside from finishing this goddamn book and I’m just going to do them. Here is a short list of my current creative project goals:

  2. Write more comedy sketches
  3. Come up with a stand-up routine (I want to be a comedian)
  4. Make a video
  5. Blog more, obviously!

Instead of waiting for 2017 to actually arrive, I will be starting today. One of the things I try to live by is “No day but today.” If there’s something in your life that you’ve been meaning to do, here is your push to just do it. There is no time like the present.

P.S. Sorry if this post sucks! It’s been a while and I need to get back into this whole blogging thing.


Follow Up: I SAW BERMUDA BOY (aka Al)

Alright, so this post is like 5 months overdue, but after rereading an old post and a goal to blog more about my life, I’ve decided I need to update you on Al aka Bermuda Boy aka my old crush.  If you’re not sure who I’m talking about, I recommend reading my blog post “Lori the Most Inspirational Waitress To Have Ever Lived.”  Here is quick version for those of you that don’t remember and are too lazy to go back:

Basically I reconnected with my old crush Al, code name Bermuda Boy, last year.  He invited me to go party in Bermuda and I DIDN’T GO!  Even though my friends and Lori, the best waitress I’ve ever had, said that I should have gone.  Recently (well back in August), I saw Lori again and had to confess my short comings.

Ironically a few days after I saw Lori, my mom told me that Bermuda Boy and his family were going to be in town.  That’s right, I saw him again.  Face to face.  Gosh, it was something to say the least.

Alright, so a few pieces of information that you need to know before I fully get into this.  Things I was aware of going into this re-meeting, thank you Facebook.  Al is a taken man, has been for more than a year now.  He did not stay single long, in fact he got together with this girl around the time I would have gone to Bermuda.  Maybe I dodged some heartbreak by not going, who knows.  That being said, I was still super excited and extremely nervous to see him again.

Do you have those people that you’ve met on occasion and wish you were better friends with?  I certainly do and Al is one of them.  When we last saw each other 6 years ago we just clicked.  I can’t explain it but even though he’s someone I rarely see, we really connect on a deep level.  It sounds crazy I know.  To be honest, I was 90% sure it was all in my head.  I was a dorky kid in high school and kind of a hopeless romantic.  Here was this cute, super cool guy that was around my age and was giving me the time of day.  That was what I remembered about Al.  I really wasn’t sure if high school me had seen things that weren’t there because she liked the idea of it.  Think about it, up until last year I had no contact with him.  He was friendly, but he could just be a nice guy.  He helped me with what I needed to know and then we went back to our lives.  Hadn’t talked to him much since.  This was the first time I was going to see how much of this stuff I had made up in my head was true.

Gosh I was so nervous that I delayed talking to him as soon as we got to the restaurant.  I, of course, happened to find their family first at the bar when we got there.  It was a surprise to say the least after hearing my mom talk about how they were always late.  I said a quick hello, hugged his parents, and literally went off to find my mom to tell her.  Although as everyone regrouped I had to face him.  We said our hello’s and once the ice was broken we literally did not stop talking.

It was like we had been friends forever and just hadn’t seen each other in a while.  I mean I’ve known him all of my life but we were never close.  Just family friends, ya know?  It was so easy to talk to him and we talked about everything.  I even confessed to him about how I was ready to hop on a plane to Bermuda for cupmatch last year but chickened out because I didn’t have anyone to go with.  He told me that I should have said something and came anyway.  He also insisted that one year I had to come and had an open invitation since he and his family were always going to be there for the event.  Our conversation even got deep as we talked about the troubles of being a twenty-something out of college.  My high school self was not making our clear connection up.  Al was really someone I connected with, which is hard to find.

If the fact that we basically talked and stuck by each the entire time wasn’t enough to convince me that I wasn’t crazy, his dad pulled my mom aside and basically said that this was the most he’s ever seen Al talk ever. Ever!  I sometimes forget that Al can be a quiet guy because we get along.  However, that is a statement.  Maybe there’s hope for us in the end.  If not that’s okay, I’d settle for good friends too.  The two of us just need to be better about keeping in touch and stop being so shy.

P.S. Thankfully the restaurant we ended up at was not the same one that Lori worked out.  She definitely would have remembered me and gone into the story basically telling everyone at the table that I had a crush on Al.  Now that would have been REALLY AWKWARD!

Lori the Most Inspirational Waitress To Have Ever Lived

Have you ever received some amazing advice from an unlikely person or stranger?   Last year this happened to me while I was getting brunch with my friends at a restaurant.  I was kind of in a state of uncertainty at the time.

You see, I had this massive crush on this guy.  He’s my mom’s friend’s son, we’ll call him Al.  Al is a year younger than me, smart, funny, and someone I weirdly get along well with.  The problem, we don’t live in the same country.  He is from Bermuda, went to University in England, and I don’t know where he’s at now (it’s not America though).  The last time I saw him was roughly 6 years ago when his family was visiting mine in America.  Last year we became friends on Facebook and reconnected because my good friend Will was going on a cruise to Bermuda and wanted to know the hot spots.  Apparently, Will had picked the best time to go.

It was cupmatch which is a big deal in Bermuda and basically like a giant party.  Al literally sent me paragraphs upon paragraphs of awesome stuff that was happening that week.  I was super jealous that I wasn’t going to be in Bermuda, so much so that I told Al.  His response, “You should come!”

Not going to lie I’m 90% sure I collapsed on the ground after getting this message.  I mean can you blame me?  Here is this guy I had a crush on, who at the time was recently single, basically inviting me to go party in Bermuda.  I didn’t know what to do with myself.

This happened at the end of June, so for most of July I basically went back and forth on what I should do.  At first, my friend Marley and I were going to see if it were possible to join Will’s cruise.  That fell through, the cruise was way expensive and overbooked.  Then something came up with Marley, so it would just be me traveling there.  I also wasn’t sure how serious Al was and if this was actually a terrible idea.  As I stated earlier, I haven’t seen him in five years and we only just began talking again.  He’s a family friend but not someone I am super close with.  I could show up there and it be incredibly awkward.  I was so torn on what to do.

Fast forward to one day  when Will, my friend Jimmy, and I decided to have brunch at this place in the city.  Of course we talked about my dilemma because it was all I talked about that summer.  They both told me that I obviously had to go, but I was not convinced.  I couldn’t strike that feeling of paranoia.  It got to a point where my friend Will was just like “Let’s ask the waitress!”

Our waitress, Lori, was super sweet and very friendly.  She was a cross between Taylor Swift and Kristen Bell.  After Will told her my problem she gave me some of the best advice I have ever received.  It was so amazing that I won’t be able to do it justice.  Basically, she told me that I had to go.  She said you have to go for it because regardless of what happens with him, it’s a trip to Bermuda!  The trip alone will be an amazing experience and experiences are something you have to go for.  There was obviously more and it was worded better.  I almost cried after she lectured me about how risks are always worth taking.  It was beautiful, plus I had 3 mimosas in me which made me feel even more emotional.

Her advice and that whole experience is something I will never forget.  A few weeks ago, almost a year later, we went back to the restaurant and she happened to be our waitress again.  She even remembered Will and I, and asked if I ended up going to Bermuda.  You’re probably curious too after that build up, hell I would be.

Unfortunately, it’s kind of a let down because I didn’t end up going.  Logistically I was having trouble working it out and was a BIG FAT CHICKEN and didn’t ask Al for ideas/help.  Even after Lori’s amazing advice, I was too scared of the bad things that might have happened.  I almost regret it now, but I subscribe to the belief that things happen for a reason.  Overall, I think this has taught me that I need to take more risks and just go for things.  Not taking risks leaves you with a boring life.  So in a month I will be a 5 week trip, traveling to California, Seattle, and South Korea because why the fuck not.

Readers, I urge you to start living your life and just go for things.  You don’t want to be like me and sort of regret not traveling to an exotic island to hang out with someone you haven’t seen in a while because you were scared.  Don’t pass up opportunities.

P.S. I really hope that guy doesn’t stumble upon this page or at least this post.  Talk about an awkward way of someone finding out you had a huge crush on them.